So many times I hear how eating healthy is one thing when you’re only worried about yourself, but if youre the cook of the house, it sure is challenging. You want to make yourself a salad, but the partner wants shepards pie. Not to mention KIDS- they sure as heck might not understand Shakeology themselves, especially if you force it on them, so how are you to sneak in Shakeology when they want Mario ice cream pops with gum ball blue eyes? I also know that people thrive off their date nights, including myself, so when the partner has french fries or doesnt think an acro yoga hour is a good idea to do together, you’re left either lusting after their meal, picking at their plate, skipping your workout all together for “quality time”, or just plain wrecking it all together in the name of “love” and starting “fresh” tomorrow.
Any of this sound familiar? Well with anything, whether its diet or career goals or just what one wants out of a relationship, it may seem cliche, but communication is key. Whenever I “wish” something would be different, my partner is very frank in that I just need to RATIONALLY (not whining, crying, angry, or from a place of fear) explain how important this is for me and what steps he can take. Ive got an incredible man, dont get me wrong, but I feel most couples dont explain clearly enough their REAL goals, so this a very common problem with a very simple solution. We have had our times where I blame everything on him, my poor nutrition choices, not being happy, not getting what I want, him not liking the same things I do, him eating popcorn in bed when Im done for the day.
The reality is, ladies and gents, 1) we CANNOT blame anyone for where we’re at or not at. All we can do is ask for the persons love and support.
2) Dont be afraid to ASK. When you are clear, and loving, and actually
give clear action steps on what would help you, your partner and family LOVES you believe it or not so they may surprise you with their desire to help, especially if its broken down into easy steps. Also ask yourself, whens the last time you full out supported your partners dreams? Theres could be going to a basketball game theyve always wanted to see, a career choice that would make them ultimately so much happier, actual encouragement on their health journey? Im not talking about changing them or forcing them into something. Im talking about knowing them and what they love and supporting them in that. Love breeds love. Support breeds support.
3) Get outside yourself, and support the love of your life. Like really support them. Even if its just asking the question, “What would you do if you could do anything for the rest of your time here on Earth?” Maybe if you truly exhibit your desire to know them through and through, care about them enough to want to know, they’ll hide the ice cream from you when you get home without you knowing it…but something you asked for a week ago.
4) Work Together. So many of our poor choices in health or procrastination to do what we really want comes from exhaustion and the feeling that theres never enough time. Food becomes an escape and our dreams are never pursued because the drama of day to day chores is enough to want to go straight to sleep when you get home. Communicating on who can do what to allow peace at home is huge.
5) My boyfriend and I are incredibly different, but WE KNOW EACHOTHER. I know that if I dont shower right when I get home or before I get in the car, its really going to bother Dwight as its his pet peeve, when I could care less as a sweaty fitness instructor. My boyfriend knows that if the house is covered with his clothes, dishes are dirty, the trash isnt taken out, and the lawn looks a hot mess, thats that many things for me to pick on him about when Im stressed, instead of coming home and saying “hunny the house looks perfect, Im stressed about this….”.
I cant give endless relationship advice, Im 28 sure and we’ve only been together for four years. What I can say though, is that I am in love with a man who’s avidly pursuing what his version of an American dream as I am mine, and we have no choice but to work together. Sometimes theres little discussions, in which we’re learning from each other (ie what people call arguments), but Im pretty proud of what we’re both doing and how well we work together- making huge strides towards our personal goals every week. If you’re blaming your significant other, stop that…and take action. They may be your best advocate and the support you’ve been needing all along, its up to you to make that happen. Ask, give clear steps from a place of love, support them right back, and be willing to work together.
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